I suppose that it's very daring to theme my vacation blog after a movie where not a single thing goes right on a family vacation. Yet, National Lampoons Vacation is the ultimate road trip story (sorry Mr. Kerouac), and if nothing else I've learned what not to do on a trip out west by watching Clark W. Griswold and his increasingly desperate attempts to reach the Mecca that is Wally World...
1. Never buy a car from Lou Glutz Motors. If the words "You think you hate it now, but just wait 'til you drive it" come out of a salesman's mouth, run far, far away.
2. Don't put luggage on the roof of your car.
3. When traveling through St. Louis, DO NOT leave the Interstate
4. When you say you have a hundred miles left in you, you probably don't.
5. Think of family first...unless family involves Cousin Eddie.
6. If you see Christie Brinkley pass you in a sports car, don't even try.
7. Never tie your dog to your car bumper.
8. Colorado is nice, but don't use Kamp Komfort for your accommodations.
9. Be sure to check with your destination for important details such as operating schedule.
10. Getting there is not half the fun.
Just a side note. The Griswolds ended up flying back to Chicago. I wonder what happened to the Wagon Queen Family Truckster? That's not really explained.
Today I turn 30. I celebrate the milestone by nursing a minor thigh contusion caused from a pickup basketball game two days prior. I currently have a slight limp from the experience and watching me enter a car, you would think I was turning 130. Will it go away before the 6am departure tomorrow?
Tomorrow's preview: John and the girl sing Mockingbird together a la Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo and then I miraculously manage to pull into the campsite in Streetsboro, OH while asleep.
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